I’ve had a life that I’m very grateful for. It’s been a life of windy roads, with some bumps and potholes, detours for adventure and out of the blue whims, which have all miraculously led me to this day.
It’s given my continuously evolving insight into myself, a deep appreciation for life and a growing wonder for the millions of possibilities the world offers.
Has it been an easy, smooth or foreseeable life? Yes and no; it’s all comparative.
So far though, it’s been wild and precious in many ways; not that I thought that all the time nor was I even conscious or awake to my life. I was living it day by day but I don’t feel I always experienced all that there was to experience.
I sense that was because I was too wrapped up in “trying” – to be good, to get it right, to fit in, to achieve, to be liked or loved that I didn’t stop in many moments to feel, see, hear, touch or smell how wild and precious life was.
One of the surprises of my recent Grand Canyon trip I mentioned in my initial blog, (read it here if you haven’t already) was that from the first few minutes of gliding in a wooden dory along cold, clear water into the heart of the Canyon, I was fully, wholeheartedly present. It was as if I was letting the “soft animal of my body love what it loves”. No distractions, no anticipation, no what ifs, no yesterday and no tomorrow. Only now: this moment, in this place in this time.
This feeling of being present lasted the full 14 days. It was as if the Canyon embraced me and said: you’re here, we love you, you’re welcome, enjoy yourself, relax, and be at peace.
It was beautiful.
My reflections since I’ve returned have been “interesting”!!
- I’ve spent hours watching Netflix (new toy now that I’ve got a Wi-Fi hub that works properly).
- I’ve spent hours thinking of other adventures and bucket list experiences I want to have.
- I’ve celebrated my 59th birthday.
- I’ve wallowed in bed.
- I’ve planned the next phase of my healthy lifestyle approach.
- I’ve had many coffees in my favourite coffee shop and too may occasional pieces of lemon and ginger crunch.
- I’ve bemoaned the emptiness of my work diary whilst knowing that this is only driven by fear.
- I’ve at worst avoided or at best gently pondered some big practical questions about my future finances.
- I’ve had more coffees (well the lemon and ginger crunch is soooo yummy).
- I’ve felt lonely and alone.
- I’ve felt loved and appreciated.
- I’ve felt misunderstood, left out and undervalued.
- I’ve drooled over ski, adventure and travel magazines
- I’ve acknowledged in gratitude 2 already paid for ski trips for 2019.
- I’ve dreamt of a different future and allowed some What ifs?” to enter my mind…. And what I’ve NOT done is allow myself to really, honestly and wholeheartedly imagine by future wild and precious life. What am I waiting for?
What might you be waiting for?