“When you don’t know what to do, do nothing and the answer will come” Oprah Winfrey
I read this quote from Oprah in a magazine article last week and I felt myself breathe a sigh of relief. It was as if I’d been given permission to relax, calm down and give myself a break from wishing and pushing to make a number of decisions and just wait – and be OK with that.
A pattern of behaviour I recognise in myself is to overthink, overanalyse and try to force actions and decisions. I also recognise that this behaviour is driven by 2 main stories in my mind
1. I should be able to figure this out – on my own.
2. Procrastination, indecisiveness and dithering are tantamount to laziness and ineptitude.
AND both of these stories have an even deeper singular combination story of
“I’m not good/capable enough” and “I’m not loveable”
It feels challenging and a bit sad to recognise and acknowledge that, especially as I know in the deepest part of my heart that it’s not true.
Too many times in the past, especially in my business, I’ve jumped on an idea and invested time, energy and money, learning and creating around that idea and then either done nothing with it or been distracted by my or someone else’s next, seemingly better, more interesting idea.
I also recognise that this is because I am a thinker, learner, creator and teacher. What I’m not so good at, energised by or motivated by is taking the idea through a process to implementation – I want to/think I want to see it happen but I need someone else to bring it to life so I can then do what I love around it. I want to go from the idea creation – the what, why and high level how to it being real. I need other people whose talents are implementation and sustainability.
So as I start to slowly emerge from nearly a year of “What’s next for me?” I’m getting better at writing down all my ideas and the things that I want and don’t want. I’m also learning that I’m acquiring and waiting for answers to come. If/when answers do come, then it will be a path for me to pursue one step further. I’m learning to really trust my intuition, my gut and tune into what feels right and take action or wait.
It’s a bit scary because I’m not 100% sure that all the waiting is necessary or productive but I also don’t want to jump in and repeat unhelpful, unproductive or costly behaviours of the past and in fact there is no rush anyway.
However, It’s also fun just allowing the space for waiting to be filled or not with decisions and using it as a space to experiment.
The waiting continues for some things and for others maybe I’ll take one step further to test the water?
- What decisions can you give time and space for and allow the waiting to reveal some answers
- What stories are getting in your way that are in fact causing procrastination and not productive waiting time?